I have done many things in my life; I treaded water for 3 days straight after my sailboat capsized in the Straits of Hormuz. I painted my entire house with a toothbrush. I woo women with my sensual and angelic jazz flute skills. I read The Odyssey in a day and have published works read by scholars in Peru, Greece and Cambodia. I saved the Presidents daughter, I know the universal code for breaking all safes and Im currently an outlaw in Bosnia. I've been told my flowing locks spawn envy from the likes of Donald Trump. I once made a bike chain out of bark in the Redwood forest. I am the most successful fisherman in all of Alaska, yet I have not once used a fishing rod. Or a net. Or a boat.
But I didn't invent Facebook, which (according to the internet logs) is all that people care about, thus making my accomplishments moot.
You could vie for the Most Interesting Man alive. But if you're too young to shill for Dos Equis, you'll have to find something else. Fun post.
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